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16-02-2012, 10:12 AM
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#301
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Registered User
Country: UK
Occupation: Designin' Stuff
Interests: Boating/4x4s/Fast Cars
Boat name: Namotu
Boat make: Extreme 24
Engines: 383 Mag Stroker
Cruising area: Channel Isles
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 557
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Another death...
First we lost Jacko, then Whitney... Now that guy from Steps has gone too...
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__________________
I like boating
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16-02-2012, 12:28 PM
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#302
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Registered User
Country: Guernsey Channel Isles
Location: West Coast
Occupation: Hotelier
Interests: Powerboat racing
Boat name: Vodkatini,Cap Camarat,Easy RiderSuper Rider & Hirrondelle
Boat make: Phantom 21,Jeaneau 925 Avenger19.Lorne Campbell Slipstream Tremlett 21.Tigershark 21
Engines: Volvo 5 litre,Merc 115 Tower,Twin 250 Suzukis and 145 Mercruiser LX
Cruising area: Channel Islands and French coast
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: West Coast
Posts: 612
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Pfizer drug company chose valentines day to launch the latest form of Viagra.
Called the 007
Tests have shown that it clearly helps men to
Roger Moore
__________________
__________________
Guernsey - The home of offshore powerboat racing
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17-02-2012, 01:15 PM
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#303
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by andy21
First we lost Jacko, then Whitney... Now that guy from Steps has gone too...
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Keanaz
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28-02-2012, 10:53 PM
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#304
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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a few funnies.....
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella.
Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella?"
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was f**king skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog...!!"
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Wife says to husband "You only ever want sex when You're drunk"
Husband says "thats not true....... sometimes I want a kebab"
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I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great
She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.
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Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when
he got back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist,
a twisted ankle and grazed knees,
Apparently she'd stood him up.
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A man approaches a young woman in a shop. he says" I can't find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
The woman says "Sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?"
"Not a clue" he says" But whenever I talk to a beautiful woman with
tits like yours she appears out of nowhere!"
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My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!!
Keanaz
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29-02-2012, 07:32 AM
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#305
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: West Sussex
Boat make: Phantom 21/Four Winns 205/Cougar cub
Engines: Merc 300xs / 5L V8 270hp/30hp Yam
Cruising area: Solent / Stockholm
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 232
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A mate of mine admitted he was addicted to break fluid, when I quizzed him about it he reckoned he could stop at any time!
A mate of mine was showing off his new fridge, should have seen his face light up when he opened it!
A friend of mine just moved into his new house so I took him round a couple of radiators....just a little house warming present.
I've been on the phone for ages trying to book tickets for an Elvis tribute band but it just keeps telling me to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.........
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.....
I've just had a reply from Screwfix, they regret to inform me they are not actually a dating agency
I was in the pub last night with my wife and I said 'I love you'. She said is that you or the beer talking? I said 'it's me talking to the beer!!'
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker.........well she's not actually my girlfriend yet
The wife has been missing for three days now, the police said to prepare for the worst so I've been to the charity shop to get her clothes back.
I was driving this morning when I came across an RAC van parked up. The guy inside was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very stressed. I thought to myself 'that guys heading for a breakdown'
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01-03-2012, 05:21 PM
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#306
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: West Sussex
Boat make: Phantom 21/Four Winns 205/Cougar cub
Engines: Merc 300xs / 5L V8 270hp/30hp Yam
Cruising area: Solent / Stockholm
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 232
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My wife just told me Davy jones has died. I wasnt convinced at first....the I saw her face.................
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06-05-2012, 05:36 PM
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#307
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Registered User
Country: england
Location: surrey
Occupation: home extension specialist
Interests: boats, boats and more boats
Boat name: The Edge
Boat make: p21
Engines: 2.5 260
Cruising area: hayling island/littlehampton
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: surrey
Posts: 888
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2 german brothers
2 german brothers lucky to both work with fanny all day, ones a gaenicologist, Hanz Uppercunt, and the other is a porn star Fitz Nicentight
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14-03-2013, 07:28 PM
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#308
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Registered User
Country: US
Location: Virginia
Interests: Quiet desperation
Boat name: A Little Noisy
Boat make: Excalibur 24
Engines: Express Racing 525
Cruising area: Mobjack Bay (where?)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,974
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Julius Caesar walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"Surely" says the barman, "You must mean a martini."
"If I wanted a double" replies Caesar, "I would have asked for it."
__________________
I thought that having more patience was a result of my getting older. Turns out that I just don't give a sh*t.
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14-03-2013, 08:13 PM
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#309
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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Blondes
There were these two blondes driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic.
The first blonde says "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree". The other says "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road". They argued about it for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road. All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them. The one blonde says to the other "See? If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"
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14-03-2013, 08:24 PM
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#310
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Registered User
Country: england
Location: surrey
Occupation: home extension specialist
Interests: boats, boats and more boats
Boat name: The Edge
Boat make: p21
Engines: 2.5 260
Cruising area: hayling island/littlehampton
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: surrey
Posts: 888
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another blonde joke
a blonde woman goes to the doctors and says, doc you have to help me, my husband has a really flakey and itchy scalp, the doctor says take him home and give him head and shoulders, the blonde replies how do you give shoulders,
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14-03-2013, 08:31 PM
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#311
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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Golf
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers". Inspired by the story, the doctor said "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!" "No," I replied "I'm just a shit golfer".
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17-03-2013, 03:45 PM
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#312
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Registered User
Country: england
Location: surrey
Engines: none at the mo
Cruising area: south coast
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: surrey
Posts: 472
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another cracker
ere this dislexsic guy walks into a BRA
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18-03-2013, 08:30 PM
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#313
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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Cyanide:
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Keanaz
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23-03-2013, 10:19 AM
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#314
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Registered User
Country: england
Location: surrey
Engines: none at the mo
Cruising area: south coast
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: surrey
Posts: 472
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heard this one the other day made me laugh
rings are faster than phantoms, had me in stitches, was in tears for days, ha ha
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02-05-2013, 07:16 AM
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#315
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JORDANIEL
Country: ENGLAND
Location: WEST MIDLANDS
Occupation: paying my kids bills
Interests: BOATS,MOTORCROSS,JET SKIS AND BEER LOTS OF BEER
Boat name: SIDEWINDER
Boat make: PHANTOM 20
Engines: XR2 MERCURY
Cruising area: BARMOUTH
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: WEST MIDLANDS
Posts: 163
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Poor Ken
All Ken Barlow did was take a 12 year old Escort to Kevin Webster's garage for a touch up....
__________________
If It's got wheels or tits your gunna have trouble with it
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02-05-2013, 10:58 AM
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#316
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Registered User
Country: UK
Location: Exmouth
Occupation: Sitting on backside in the SUN
Interests: Vacations
Boat make: Burgess T850, Bristol T850 c 2 Wieser Boote
Engines: Yam70 (x3) & Stinger 75 (x2)
Cruising area: South West
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Exmouth
Posts: 749
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Joker
I wonder if Stuart Hall will play a joker for this one?
Keanaz
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17-06-2013, 03:56 PM
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#317
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Aged Member
Country: UK
Location: HAMPSHIRE
Occupation: Safety Engineering
Boat name: Savannah
Boat make: Princess 415
Engines: Volvos
Cruising area: SOLENT
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: HAMPSHIRE
Posts: 779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keanaz
I wonder if Stuart Hall will play a joker for this one?
Keanaz
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He must have done...15 months....he'll be out in 5...
__________________
Land was invented to give boats somewhere to visit
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08-09-2013, 08:18 AM
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#318
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Registered User
Country: england
Location: surrey
Engines: none at the mo
Cruising area: south coast
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: surrey
Posts: 472
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one legged man
a one legged man walks into a flip flop shop and asks for a flip!
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23-09-2013, 09:20 PM
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#319
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Registered User
Country: England
Location: Crayford, Kent.
Occupation: Electrical gezza!
Interests: Petrolhead
Boat name: Wayne Kerr
Boat make: Phantom xl
Engines: Mercury 2.5, 200(ish)
Cruising area: Essex, Hampshire, Mediterranean
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Crayford, Kent.
Posts: 1,199
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Dear alcohol, we had a deal, you promised to make me smarter, sexier and a better dancer.
Well I've just seen the video and we need to talk.
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